Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize