dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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