i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
