They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize