Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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