oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
