Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
