i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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