At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
