i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
