He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
