Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
