Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
