He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
