I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
