what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
