Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
