i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize