so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
