As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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