Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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