I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
