Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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