I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
