Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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