You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
