Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
