great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
