if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he just fucked me for my cheese..
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
