You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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