New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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