You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
