All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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