No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
