I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize