Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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