shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
