You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
