I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
