do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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