sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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