dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
