it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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