no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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