idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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