I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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