hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The best revenge is premature balding
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
