Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
