And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
