I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
two words: eviction party
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
