Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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