"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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