i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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