His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
