every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
