i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
