Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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