just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
